At the end of every summer

I come to a place where I don’t want to be

The years move by faster

the summers move quicker than they ever have before

and the time we had slips quicklythrough our hands

But every once and a while

you find a second

and you grab that time

and you hold onto it for all its worth

Because those few moments are like gold

And though everyone knows it in that moment

its impossible to speak it out loud

Because knowing that its short lived

would break the magic of it

And the Jericho walls would fall down

and the real world would come rushing back in

to drag you back to the hum drum days

of work and family

And even though you love them

your family, the time in those moments

when you finally wrestle it to the ground

and force it to stay awhile

slows down

and you soak up every second of it

You can feel the warmth of it in your back

in the spot between your shoulder blades

The spot that tingles

when you’re scared

Or excited

But its not as intense as those moments

It’s a soft envelope of warmth

that keeps out all the bad things

The things that you hate deep down to your soul,

come Monday, you’ll grin and bear it

and swallow it up inside

with all the other fear

and hate

and uncertainty

And in some moments

it will come rushing back to you

even across the years

asa song

a smell

a taste

And the feeling will build up

and press down on you

until you pop.

Until you can’t take it anymore.

The inanity of it

Of the bullshit jobs that produce nothing

That leave you grasping for an outlet.

To bare your soul

and mind

To scream “I’M HUMAN”

I need help. I NEED.

- Justin McAfee

august 22 2018

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