After boarding our flights from Chattanooga at zero-dark-thirty, @xRichless and I were finally on our way to Hacker Summer Camp.
For two men in their late 30’s I’m sure we couldn’t have looked more like excited children as Haileyeliah dropped us off with our Hak5 gear, graphic tee’s and Faraday bags at the municipal airport. A misspelled name, a broken lavatory, and a damaged zipper were the name of the game. Undeterred our intrepid heroes made the journey from Chattanooga to the desert heat of Las Vegas Nevada.
Side note reader, if you’ve never been here, its somehow hotter than hell this week. As will be noted later, our evening activities all took place in >100F weather.
Exiting the airport, we walked into what can only be described as an air fryer to catch a cab to Paris hotel. (Local cabbies highly recommend Taco al Gordo). At check-in, we were greeted by a kind hotel ambassador who informed us that the hotel hates DefCon guests, we were the reason all the employee access to portals had been cut off, and to top it off, Trump was speaking in Vegas tonight and her son was military and fearing a deployment to Iran. Once I explained that the DefCon attendees were at least (partially) good guys and on the whole, likely didn’t agree very much with the Trump admin, she lightened up and got us checked-in. By the time the transaction was over, we’d even garnered ourselves a fist bump.
Lunch ended up being a decent all you can eat grab bag at Guy Fieri’s Flavortown, though the cream-cheese jalapeno gravy and biscuit about put these Tennessee boy’s in an early grave. Someone should talk to Guy. There’s a reason grandma makes gravy the way she does, and there’s not a lot of upward mobility for improvement.
Finally, having been up for 2 days, we hit the sacks. Sleeping off the never ending lunch only to be awoken by Viande_Morte who wanted to grab an early dinner. Begrudgingly, we joined him in the bar, then headed to Gordon Ramsey’s Steak. It was pretentious but the right kind of pretentious. Aged wagyu’s with family style sides. VM grabbed a tomato and mozz app that turned out to be the star of the meal. (It featured little translucent aspic cubes that were some how clear and Balsamic flavored.)
After delightful dinner conversation and stuffed tummy’s, xRichless and I decided to head to LineCon. This has to be the most insane of the DefCon activities we’ve been exposed to so far. Interested parties descend on the convention center up to 24 hours ahead with mats, camp pads, pillows, etc… As well as, a myriad of gadgets (Shout out to the gentleman handing out multicolored Flipper cases, printed with heat sensitive and color changing filament!)
As the Uber driver dropped us in an abandoned parking lot on the wrong side of the convention center, we knew we were facing a long walk to wherever? might be the correct side, and the supposed LineCon. Luckily, as we began our pilgrimage towards a particularly interesting looking door, a truck pulled up and as we’d come to know, Nathan and Pax hung out the windows. “Hey guys, is this LineCon?!” Luckily, they were as lost as we were, but with a little recon from Pax, and a friendly neighborhood spider-guard we were pointed in the right direction. Pax and Nathan offered a ride, and xRichless soon found ourselves riding down Elvis Presley Blvd in the back of Nathan’s truck.
Once inside, we discovered a veritable menagerie of goons, freaks, geeks, and con goers, but I repeat myself, of the chillest variety. In a fit of desperation trying to login to the specially protected wi-fi networks, we eventually sat down against an empty slab of wall, where a Goon politely informed us we were cutting line, gifted us a poker chip with his name on it, g0rd0, and then informed us that if we were really new con-goers and not line-jumping sneak thieves, then we probably were all right, though he was concerned because he’d heard Tennessean’s preferred to copulate with their mothers and their sisters, and he just couldn’t understand the appeal.
Having had a long and interesting day thusfar, we decided that was enough of that, and giving a wave to Nathan and Pax we headed for the door.
“Snacks,” asked xRichless? “Snacks,” I affirmed. A quick Uber later found us standing inside a CVS Pharmacy attached to the Treasure Island Casino. Bizarrely, nearly every food stuff was behind lock-and-key and the shopping baskets were hidden behind the counter. A Jason Mamoa impersonator was doing his best Punisher impression as store security though he was nice enough. We quickly assembled a pile of yogurts, bars, sodas, and other food stuffs and headed for the checkout. After a quick back and forth with the self checkout we turned around only to be jump scared by the employee hovering near by to snatch the empty basket away and flee back behind the counter. 10/10 would shop here again.
Now, the beds call. LineCon awaits and there is merch to buy and people to meet.